Imagine that you're building a house. You've got a blueprint for the house, so you start to get to work. The blueprint is really elaborate...minus the fact that it only builds half the house. That's right, you are deliberately instructed to build half a house.
Now back to reality. Welcome the Architecture School of Life. You are building your house now. Right now, as you read this. Everything you learn, every habit you adopt goes into the foundation of your house. The results of those habits show in the paint. And sorry, but this house is no one day project. You've gotta take it step-by-step.
First, you've gotta work with the half a house you've already got. Your parents, aunts and uncles, other relatives, mentors, teachers, etc. help you with your blueprint from the start. Your habits, tastes, hobbies, etc. are developed from the connections you have with these people early on.
When you become independent, you've gotta start building on your own. All the advice, lessons, and plans you've been taught are only a blueprint for half a house. No matter how much help you get or how developed that half a house is...it's not gonna be more than half a house. The other half, you've gotta build on your own.
And let me be clear on this, right now.
YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES. Some of them will be flippin huge screw-ups. Take them in stride. You might think, oh, that's easy to say when it's not your house, and you'd probably be right. But each and everyone of us has our own stymies that might blow the halves we've got to smithereens. We can't stop building.
If you fail, you fail. Failure is okay, it doesn't make you any less awesome as a person. Excuse my language here, but although you might fuck up, YOU ARE NOT A FUCK-UP.
So many people consider themselves failures because of their mistakes, but you simply cannot be a failure because of a mistake. The gap between who we are and what we do is created by ignorance, so the more you learn about your goals, your habits, and yourself, the better an architect you'll be.
Take a good look at yourself. Seriously, take a good look at yourself right now. If the first thing you noticed were your failures or imperfections, then you already missed the point. A good look means to see yourself in a positive light with all your quirks that make you an individual. You are beautiful, you are important, and you are unfinished.
A builder doesn't look at an unfinished house and complain that it's inferior to other houses. He simply acknowledges that the house needs work, and starts rebuilding.
So stop judging yourself, especially the comparisons with other peoples lives. They've got their own construction to handle, and their construction is no lesser or greater than your own, even though we're all in different stages of building. Put down the gavel and pick up the hammer. It's up to you to make the blueprint for your beautiful, finished home.
So get moving. You've got work to do.
Please put any thoughts, questions, or feedback here and I'll respond as soon as I can.